Fix This: November

When it comes time to sell, it is vital that you impress.  Good grammar, punctuation, and active writing are important.  Here is a piece that fails to meet those standards.  Fix this:

Lori was filled with fear.  Something was chasing her; she could hear it.  She ran through the forest as fast as she could, her long black hair streaming behind. 

Post your answer.  Get into this.  Have fun.

This entry was posted in Fix This. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Fix This: November

  1. Lori tried not to think about how hard it was to breathe as her feet crushed the pine needles covering the earth below. Tree branches cracked behind her; whatever it was, it sounded large. She prayed that it wasn’t hungry, as well, but knew that her prayers were most likely in vain.

  2. Pat Longley says:

    Terror seized Lori. She’d heard something strange and frightening behind her. With her hair whipping behind her, she ran through the woods. Branches grabbed she paid no heed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s